There's something about the month of February that sneaks up on me. It's like I forget how much February sucks - not just in the slang meaning of being a drag, but how it sucks the warmth out of my fingers and toes, how it sucks the sun out of the sky, how it sucks the life out of my days.
I've heard of seasonal affective disorder, and although I'm fully aware of how hard it is to be happy when it's cold and grey, I don't think that's it. February is a transition month, moving from celebratory December and renewed-purpose January towards March break and April melting. Even the additions of Valentine's Day and the more recent Family Day make it even worse; Valentine's Day can produce such silly anxiety and Family Day isn't really accessible to most people. There's just so much about this month that is about anticipation, waiting and not really anything that changes or improves. It's a slog, a slow march towards spring and hopefulness.
I don't mean to be such a downer - I'm sure there are many good things about this month, but every year I get to February and remember how much it sucks.
The good news is, in two week's time I'll be on vacation.
Showing posts with label daily grind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label daily grind. Show all posts
Friday, February 14, 2014
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Happy New Year!
The numbers from Christmas vacation don't lie: we put 3000 km on my poor little Ruby-car in two weeks. Living in Timmins, family and friends all over Southern Ontario, not being willing to say 'no' to any visit plus a little bit of poor planning meant we spent a lot of time in the car, often with two cats in tow. Ruby is a good little workhorse. We were incredibly lucky in our timing - we managed to avoid all the major storms and there were some doozies! We chose to drive at the right times and ended up being in the right cities (i.e. where the storm wasn't hitting) the whole time. After seeing the destruction of the ice storm in the GTA, I'm very grateful. As Ruby's radio antenna snapped off in the cold right before vacation started, J and I discovered the joys of podcasts (nothing makes the time pass like the History of Cheese!). J discovered the joy of being chauffeured about, since he's too tall to fit into Ruby's driver seat AND he hasn't yet learned to drive stick shift. Still, it was nice to spend time with everyone. I'm still adjusting to being that far away, but with Thanksgiving in October, a visit mid-November and two weeks last month, we haven't even been away that long! I was really glad to come home. As much as I loved the hospitality of everyone who was willing to let us stay with them, there's something to be said for your own home. Il vaut mieux un petit chez soi qu'un grand chez les autres. Having access to your own bathroom wins major points too.
(Bad weather delays grocery trucks, creating an apocalyptic scene in the produce aisle)
January is flying by in a bustle of work for both of us. The contract I had in December was extended a week, then another, and now I expect I'll be there at least halftime until the end of the month. I'm glad to have the work, but I had just finally settled into a routine of laziness that was working for me! Teaching up here continues to be tougher than I expected. It's not just that this demographic is not what I'm used to; there's a difference in how you have to teach when life can be this tough. There are some very sad stories that come out about these children. Anyone who has ever knocked how teaching as a career has never had to look a kid in the eye every day after hearing horrific stories of what their home life is like. Try hearing tales that make you physically ill, then spend every day making a safe space for that kid without ever really being able to acknowledge what they're going through. No matter how bad the tale, I'm still responsible for teaching reading and writing. I try not to get my back up too much when people start to slam my profession, but the sheer ignorance of what they say is galling. I don't care to talk about salaries, unions, benefits and pensions because those are part of why I chose teaching - I know they're good. I'd like them to stay that way! What drives me crazy is people who say this is easy. If it's easy, you aren't doing it right. It tears at your heartstrings, eats up your lunch hours and free time, makes you work and think hard about everything you do, and it's completely worth it. But it ain't easy. If I'm doing my job right, I'm exhausted but happy at the end of the day. I know I've done something meaningful with my time.
Mac n' cheese Mondays has taken a short hiatus while I debate the merits of eating healthier in the New Year. I don't like making resolutions, but my belly needs some respite after the richness of holiday indulgence. I did make a recipe from my Smitten Kitchen cookbook - Cheddar Swirl Breakfast Buns - which more than satisfied any craving I was having for carbs and cheese. I can't say enough good things about that cookbook - I read it like a book, over and over again. Today, I cooked a lobster for the first time. Despite my reservations, it was delicious and relatively easy to do. 'Pinchy' stymied me right before he went into the pot by becoming a kung fu master, but the internet quickly gave me the solution. After a five minute time-out in the freezer, Pinchy was sufficiently slow (and hopefully humanely stunned) and I got him into the pot without incident. My challenge for the next time I make lobster is to actually make a meal, not just cook a lobster and then eat it at the counter (which was where the mallet and cutting board were located to smash him to bits)
(Dinah investigates Pinchy)
When I started this blog, I never intended for it to become a journal of daily events. I hoped that it would be a way for me to tell tales of my new life to friends far away but I also hoped that maybe I'd tackle some more important issues. When I was in university, one of my favourite things was to talk about ideas and events with my friends (and I have some smart cookie friends, let me tell you!) Sadly, or maybe naturally, I don't seem to do that anymore. While I'm still up for a good debate most days, my life revolves more around the day-to-day minutiae that make up an ordinary life. I go grocery shopping. I go to work. I snuggle on the couch with my sweetie and watch too much Doctor Who. And life is good that way. Growing up, I struggled with the idea that my life had to be important, had to have meaning, had to create an impact. Now I realize that my life does do those things, just on a private and small scale. I'm learning to stop seeking attention and praise for doing fabulous things because it's exhausting to maintain. For now, I'm happy if dinner turned out well and I got my marking done on time. For tonight, I'll just have to be happy with dinner. The marking can wait.
January is flying by in a bustle of work for both of us. The contract I had in December was extended a week, then another, and now I expect I'll be there at least halftime until the end of the month. I'm glad to have the work, but I had just finally settled into a routine of laziness that was working for me! Teaching up here continues to be tougher than I expected. It's not just that this demographic is not what I'm used to; there's a difference in how you have to teach when life can be this tough. There are some very sad stories that come out about these children. Anyone who has ever knocked how teaching as a career has never had to look a kid in the eye every day after hearing horrific stories of what their home life is like. Try hearing tales that make you physically ill, then spend every day making a safe space for that kid without ever really being able to acknowledge what they're going through. No matter how bad the tale, I'm still responsible for teaching reading and writing. I try not to get my back up too much when people start to slam my profession, but the sheer ignorance of what they say is galling. I don't care to talk about salaries, unions, benefits and pensions because those are part of why I chose teaching - I know they're good. I'd like them to stay that way! What drives me crazy is people who say this is easy. If it's easy, you aren't doing it right. It tears at your heartstrings, eats up your lunch hours and free time, makes you work and think hard about everything you do, and it's completely worth it. But it ain't easy. If I'm doing my job right, I'm exhausted but happy at the end of the day. I know I've done something meaningful with my time.
Mac n' cheese Mondays has taken a short hiatus while I debate the merits of eating healthier in the New Year. I don't like making resolutions, but my belly needs some respite after the richness of holiday indulgence. I did make a recipe from my Smitten Kitchen cookbook - Cheddar Swirl Breakfast Buns - which more than satisfied any craving I was having for carbs and cheese. I can't say enough good things about that cookbook - I read it like a book, over and over again. Today, I cooked a lobster for the first time. Despite my reservations, it was delicious and relatively easy to do. 'Pinchy' stymied me right before he went into the pot by becoming a kung fu master, but the internet quickly gave me the solution. After a five minute time-out in the freezer, Pinchy was sufficiently slow (and hopefully humanely stunned) and I got him into the pot without incident. My challenge for the next time I make lobster is to actually make a meal, not just cook a lobster and then eat it at the counter (which was where the mallet and cutting board were located to smash him to bits)
(Dinah investigates Pinchy)
When I started this blog, I never intended for it to become a journal of daily events. I hoped that it would be a way for me to tell tales of my new life to friends far away but I also hoped that maybe I'd tackle some more important issues. When I was in university, one of my favourite things was to talk about ideas and events with my friends (and I have some smart cookie friends, let me tell you!) Sadly, or maybe naturally, I don't seem to do that anymore. While I'm still up for a good debate most days, my life revolves more around the day-to-day minutiae that make up an ordinary life. I go grocery shopping. I go to work. I snuggle on the couch with my sweetie and watch too much Doctor Who. And life is good that way. Growing up, I struggled with the idea that my life had to be important, had to have meaning, had to create an impact. Now I realize that my life does do those things, just on a private and small scale. I'm learning to stop seeking attention and praise for doing fabulous things because it's exhausting to maintain. For now, I'm happy if dinner turned out well and I got my marking done on time. For tonight, I'll just have to be happy with dinner. The marking can wait.
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